self-portrait

lately i’ve been swamped up in this problem: how do i tell where my bullshit ends, and another person’s begins?

~if i think it’s mostly me, i am potentially gullible, hoodwinkable, and in danger of being manipulated. if i think its them, then I’m an asshole. ha! isn’t life great? -ly challenging? n_n. so whats a dumbass like me to do!

this is especially hard if the other is any kind of hot girl or hot boy. the lusty orange heat radiating forth from your second chakra can really FUCK with you hahahaaa….a.aaa…..

anyway. i get angry very quickly, but my anger is a defense against hurt, so i’m easily hurt. being vengeful, blaming others for my anger or actions comes so naturally to me. this is my personal danger. so i know a lot of what i feel is me. its me not them. when they say you’re mean, you’re abusive, insensitive, manipulative, harsh cruel sharp bloody angry demonic satan in boy form, they’re right! shit! well, a lot of the time they are!

i take many deep yogic breaths to not just rage blackout and: ssslice and push and stab and kill everyone! and throw the world into the sun. sigh….but~

hey thats alright. matthew 7:5 first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother’s eye.

thats you thats me. when a person blames you, criticizes you, makes you feel guilty, just take it! it’s okay, you’ll be okay. accept it, and don’t retaliate, for we are works of art. imagine:

you and another are painting a picture. would you rather spend all your time criticizing and judging your friend’s work? or would you rather work on your own painting? this is exactly life! we are the painting. we are a work of art, but we are also a work in progress. it is much more fulfilling to simply improve the loveliness that is you than worry over another. accept others’ advice (judgement blame criticism wharves) with gratitude. its free help after all!

and often, the person who creeps around behind you as you paint, snickering and pointing out your flaws does this out of fear. they are scared to paint for themselves, for fear of finding out what they are really like! its a nice snazzy fulfilling world judging others’ works and never looking at your own. it is. i’ve done it. we all do, i reckon. to some extent.

forgiveness is best. for what you do and say to others, you do to yourself. anything you begrudge or judge in her, you judge begrudge in you too. all human behavior is acceptable, so first worry about your own. be the living work of art. you paint and paint and paint and listen and paint and suddenly, there glows a masterpiece before you. and you are that masterpiece! those around you are simply in awe, inspired, and have nothing left to say except:

wow you are pretty <3.

Advertisements