there is a way through~

isn’t there? I feel fallen silent. honestly I came to blog today not knowing ~what~ to say at all.

being a human being is exhausting. I am one, I am exhausted by striving. and by craving. all these things I desire and think I need ugh~

I can feel it like poison in my breath. it is a slowness that is seeped into my bones. my blood flows sluggishly and I am weak. it is this craving. all this desire. uggghhrrllmmgrrll I can feel it it is so heavy~

what exactly is the use of #sexmoneypower? like a horse we run after it all day until we are tired and, having failed, surrender to a restless sleep.

and even when we catch it one day after hundreds of days of running, we hold our gold crowns and fancy belt buckles close, clinging like monkey to banana until we fall~

asleep and yet all night we dream the fearful dreams of losing it oh no! not our things! but I need it I need it I need that immma neeed DAT~

anyway ❤

until you feel it yourself, how slow and slopply desires make you, it makes no sense. ah because to touch them is hot, to hold them is sexy, to eat them is the burning blissss the sssscorching pleasure of being a Being in this Samsara World of Fire.

the ego game cannot be won. every ego loses. the little you is the purple butterfly facepaint on the Face of the Cosmic You–(which is both the purple herself and the butterfly. (and also the rainbow, the lightning, the energy grid beneath the universe dream and all nine planetcracking lovergoddesses of the Gemini-Six Triplet Galaxy.))

srsly WHAT am I even talking about haha n_n

(idk how to say what I want to say.)

I’m in this coffee shop looking at all these people. watching them do things: talk, or email, or fix their hair. there is desire in each of them. these desires consume their minds and they are dreaming. dreaming of gaining them, or fearing their loss. everything they do is in pursuit or prevention. like horses they run this way and that, they do not know how to stop. even sitting still, or laughing, inside is a thirsty thirsty bitch, and her craving stains all their eyes hot red.

once, the emperor of heaven came upon an old man laying by a stream. he recognized the old man as the legendary Sage of the Lotus City by his blue and gold eyes.

he knelt beside the Sage–giggling, chewing on a root–and asked him, “great sage, you have built a city that rivals heaven itself with seemingly no effort! my servants constantly talk about Lotus City and used their PTO to vacation there. you are unequaled in all the four worlds.”

sage: “aha! oh my himariius I mean hilarious.”

emperor of heaven: “I humbly ask, in all your wanderings, what have you learned to accomplish such a great and magnificent thing?”

the Sage sat up to face him. and said: “to lean neither forward nor backward.”
he jumped forward and gave the emperor a great big smasher of a hug.

yay!

and with this, the Sage leaped into the sky with a great laugh! sailing in spirals up through the cumulostratosphere. he was almost beyond sight when he stopped and shouted back:

“and every day, don’t forget to dance!”

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